Saturday, December 24, 2011

'Twas The Night Before Tweetmas

'Twas the night before Tweetmas and all over my phone, not a creature was stirring, not even @TheOrangeCone.

@keselowski and @AJDinger were snug in their beds, while visions of tandem-racing danced in their heads. @Danica in her @GoDaddy t-shirt and I in my @SpeedFreaks cap had just settled in for a @NationwideNNS nap.

When from the #FanZone there arose such a clatter, I ran to @Twitter to see what was the matter. Then to @DirecTV I flew like a flash, clicked on @SPEED but there was nothing but trash!

The glow of my trusty @Sprint EVO phone, gave the luster of #MuscoLighting to objects that shone. When, what to my squinting eyes should appear, but a @safetykleen truck and eight very healthy reindeer.

The driver had a cigar so thick, I knew right away that it wasn't St. Nick. More rapid than @AllWaltrip, his orders they came and he whistled and shouted and called them all by name.

Now Herman! Now Matty! Now Byrnsie and Rick! On Hermie! On X-ray! On Ralph and Dr. Dick! To the top of the ratings, to the top of the heap! Now dash away quick because I need some sleep!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard out the door lots of laughing and yelling that made quite the roar. As I drew in my head and was turning around, through the front door he came right in with a bound.

He was dressed @SPEED casual despite all the racket and his clothes were neat, even the @Mens_Wearhouse suit jacket. A bundle of SWAG he had flung on his back and he looked like @TheChrisMadigan when opening his pack.

His eyes were glazed, his stare not too clear. He smelled like a combo of @Macanudos and @CoorsBeer. His sizable smirk made quite the glint, but the hair on his head had a questionable tint.

The stump of his cigar he held tight in his teeth and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a round face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, put a gift in my stocking then stood up with a jerk. He laughed like a madman and made for the door, his task was complete, there was nothing more.

As he jumped in the truck, he let out a howl. What I found in my own crying towel. But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.

Merry Tweetmass to all and to all a good night!

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